Supposed to be Writing a Bio Paper but. . .

I'm not. First off, I had to ask my roomie which words were suppposed to be capitalized in the title because apparently all those years of English in high school and classes my first two years of college have yet to pay off. Good thing my major is not English. Anywho.....back to the paper I am supposed to be writing but chose not to. I have been staring at my computer for about two and a half hours and have only written a paragraph for my paper that is due tomorrow. Ellen this is why we should become friends. If we were friends, you could write my bio paper for me and I could draw a picture of a stove for you in return, I'm not opposed to drawing other appliances too except for coffee makers, not a huge fan of those. Plus coffee gives me the squirts. Last night was the first time I had the squirts since the end of August! I think that is a Guinness World Record for me! When I was little I used to be obsessed with those books. Now I am obsessed with my bird, Harriet. But I am not one of those crazy pet owners, you know the ones. The ones who knit sweaters for their fish, send out Christmas cards with all of their pets in a nativity scene and regurgitate their own food to feed their birds. The worst part is, they do not think any of this is weird. Well the good news is, this is NOT me. So I might meow at my bird in hopes that she will mock me one day and I may sing to her at night but I have yet to knit her a sweater. Although I do think she would look really cute in a sweater. Ellen I know you love animals and have a lot but do you have any birds? I think you should get one if you don't. They are pretty entertaining and great listeners. Plus since they only have two legs, it is pretty funny to watch Harriet scratch her head with her leg/claw. I tried copying her  one day and I pulled my groin muscle and had to get surgery. I can barely walk anymore so I have resorted to flying around with Harriet. I'm just kidding, I don't scratch my head with my claws and I didn't pull my groin muscle. But I do fly around with Harriet occasionally. The walls really slow us down. So in a nutshell, that's why I am not writing my bio paper, because I have flown into the wall so many times that I cannot focus. Ellen let me know if you want to write this paper for me!