Pepto, Never Leave Home Without It!

Last week a lady in my class was feeling nauseous so I offered her some of my Pepto Bismal (And yes I carry pepto with me EVERY where, it's better than sliced bread) and she took it. Do you know what happened today during that same class? The lady made me a homemade 'thank you' card and gave me TWO, not one, but TWO candy bars! Lesson learned: one pepto pill is worth two candy bars, even if the cashier at the store thinks it's shoplifting.

Happy Valentine's Day!

Roses are red, unless they are pink

And usually they smell good, but sometimes they stink

Violets are blue, at least that’s what people say

Happy almost Valentine’s Day

If I could ask Cupid for one thing

It would be to go boop, bop, bing!

Which translates into, “please let me on your show”

Or I am going to look as sad as my big ugly toe

I hope Cupid’s arrow does not miss

Because us being BFF's would be heavenly bliss

So don’t forget that roses are orange

Violets are green

And someday I hope to see you on the big screen 

I am so easily distr.........did you just see that?!

Ellen I don't know if you know this about me or not, but when it comes to getting things done, I am easily distracted. I have two papers due over the next two days so I thought it might be a good idea to deactivate my facebook, that way I would have no excuse for being distracted. Well I deactivated that bad boy alright but guess what? Now apparently I have a new addiction to the weather gadget on my desktop. Who knew the direction and speed of the wind could be so interesting? Also I am feeling a little gassy which makes me wonder how tomorrow is going to go. I have three classes, so tomorrow would not be a good day to have the squirts or the bubbles. Does that ever happen to you on your show? What do you do if you have to fart on your show? Is that why you dance? Spread the love to the audience! Well since one of my papers is due in a few hours, I guess I better go paint a picture of my bird!

Blood Confusion

So I had to get blood work done this morning to get my cholesterol checked (side note: I HATE needles, that has nothing to do with this story but I just want you to know how much they freak me out). Anyways...I walked into the hospital and asked the lady at the entrance where I go to get blood work. She said "past the clock on your right." That sounds simple right? Well I started walking down the hallway and there were four clocks, so I just picked one and walked into a room on my right and luckily it was the right place (who needs a GPS? not me!). So I was sitting in the waiting room and an old man (at first I thought it was a woman) walks in and the receptionist says, "Blood work or confusion?" I laughed to myself because I figured a lot of people must get lost just like I almost did (who needs that many clocks?) As I continued to wait, I looked around and noticed the two different hallways. One hallway was for blood work and the other one was for blood infusions. So I'm guessing the receptionist actually said infusion and not confusion. So in a nutshell I am probably going to hell for laughing at an old man who was getting a blood infusion and I guess I was the only person there "infused." Sorry sir, hope everything works out!

Gingerbread House Attempt

Ellen have you ever made a gingerbread house before? No? That is probably a good thing. Well every year my mom buys one of those gingerbread house kits for me to do (I have never once expressed any kind of interest in making these but she continues to buy them. She is going to end up on TLC: Gingerbread House Hoarding). Since today was Christmas Eve Eve, I decided I should probably make it. So I started making the icing, poured it into the bag, and then that is where it all started going down hill. The icing was overflowing over the top of the bag and dripping out of the tip, all over the floor. I walked to the kitchen table, leaving a trail of icing behind me on the floor. First I started to put the wrong pieces of gingerbread together (these things should really come with a blueprint) but then I fixed that. So minus the icing all over my face, the mailman, my hands, the kitchen floor and table, I thought things were going great. I started to add decorations to it and then the roof started to fall off; candy beads were flying everywhere and my sister was just sitting there laughing hysterically. At this point I think I lost all of my patience because somehow the gingerbread house magically ended back up in the same box it came in. Below is a picture of what the house should look like according to the box and then next to it is a picture of what mine looks like.

The Dentist

Ellen don't you hate when you go to, lets say, a dentist appointment and you end up sitting in that chair for about fifteen minutes until anyone realizes you have been sitting there? Today I found myself stuck in the dentist chair again and every time I go, as I wait, I just look around at the same paintings and articles that have been hung up on the wall since I was little. Today I found myself thoroughly studying the "Fire Exit" chart..."Oh! So you make a left instead of a right? That's interesting, I would have guessed the other way. Wow, look at that use of the red sharpie, very nice." After studying that for five minutes, I started to look at the detail on the blinds, what wattage their light bulbs were....it was just a big exciting event for me. Can't wait till my next appointment!

P.S. I hate flossing.

Kicked Out of an Art Museum

Ellen I don't know if I ever told you this but I go to Ohio State and Ohio State fans highly dislike the University of Michigan, more than we dislike classes before noon. Just keep this in mind for the story I am about to tell you. So today my mom and I were at the art museum in Chicago and everything was going great until I saw this girl with a Michigan shirt on. I happened to be wearing my lovely Ohio State shirt and pointed to it as I passed her. She quickly turned around, chased after me and started singing Michigan's Alma Mater. Well naturally I started singing Ohio State's right back at her. This caused a huge scene;paintings started to fall off the wall, windows wear breaking because of my awful voice and her awful song. One of the security officers came over and asked both of us to leave and we both went out kicking and screaming. I know she was only four years old but she started it first, plus it was her fault that she was wearing such an ugly shirt in the first place, right? I knew you would agree with me. Go BUCKS!